It’s been too long since I last touched my “add new post” button. And I miss it.
There was like a trillion thoughts that crossed my mind over the last couple of months, either was too lazy to blog ’em out or couldn’t just comprehend it well enough. I would like to say, nonetheless, that times, people, thoughts change like crazy, so fast, at least as far as I’m concerned… Life goes on no matter what. As much as it sounds too cliche but it’s hitting me like a thunderstorm. So real.
My life is evolving before my eyes, I see that I’m growing up, making mistakes, learning from them and sometimes, repeating them.. This is where the responsibility and the decision making dilemma comes in…
Some people say I tend to talk like a 48 year old, but not actually one ? Which is annoying ? oh well ! Trying to race age. I do trip and fall sometimes you see.
I’m slowly thinking this blog should turn into a diary to assist in my own self discovery. I find myself pretty much a ball of mess sometimes for I have no specific interests or specific goals and plans, makes me feel quite odd many times. Like I have an interest in almost everything, but just weak at anything. What do you call this ? the peak of confusion ?
However, I’m living it day by day, will make another billion mistakes and another trillion right things. I will regret some, I will be happy with some. Some will take a while to move on from but moving on is inevitable. Some will bring tears, some will bring laughter and joy… and one day, my soul shall taste death. It’s a fact.
My thoughts and emotions revolve around a few things; the homeland or motherland being my 1st and everlasting love. I sometimes feel that I hate it so much just because I love it so much. Hating the causes around its failure, hating that I don’t live in it, or hating that I can’t live in it… Hating that I am proud of it in my core, but no one sees why. I love my Sudan. That’s why I hate it.
Speaking of love, oh well, relationships are not always fulfilling.. But we still go around looking for what they call “love”… That one thing that you may find and you may never at all ever truly experience. A very subjective delicate matter I believe…
Education is crucial to one’s life ? I don’t have a single doubt. Speaking of that, at least I feel Archi-“torture” is fun.
Money ? Maybe formal Education earns you a living, but it’s your attitude that earns you a fortune. I lack that fortune attitude so far. Like I really lack it. Hence I lack the money too, which is making my life by the grace of God just an average or below average standard. Hurts yet I rather be thankful to the provider. Thankful he gave me parents who still take care of me while I learn how to gain and earn.
Let the self discovery journey begin !